Top 5 Things I Love About Kids

It is with great joy that I have joined Kate Takes 5’s listography  with this post on what I love most about young children.  I could make a top 5 list just out of the things they say, always so true that it hurts ~ such as my youngest’s conviction that M&S stands for ‘Marks and ‘Spensive’ and that the F-word is ‘fou fou.’

The little biscuit thieves certainly take the DULL out of being and aDULLt don’t they? Here it is, my Top 5 things I love about kids:

 1. Hysteria

I love that children’s natural, ‘neutral’ setting would register somewhere between hysteria and OCD in an adult. If I screamed and nearly wet myself every time I saw a puppy or spent two hours readjusting my socks so that the seam didn’t ANNOY ME MUMMY, people would worry, right? Kids go up to 11, and I like that they make me seem calm by comparison.

2. Their dress sense

Leaving my daughters to dress themselves has been one of the great joys of motherhood. My youngest specializes in an ‘all seasons in one go’ look consisting of one leg warmer, a ballet skirt, a woolly jumper two sizes too small (that I’m pretty sure I gave to Oxfam) an empty toilet roll tube on each wrist and a necklace made of tampons.

3. Their slapstick humour 

I love that kids think the body is funny; I adore their raw, bawdy, bottom-worshipping hilarity. Children find being housed in this human form hysterical as  they haven’t grown to resent the restriction of it yet or torment themselves that their body should look like someone else’s. Kids seem amazed that they have a body  at all, and they LOVE the noises it makes.  If you want to make a child laugh, keep it body based and just punch yourself in the face with your own hand. You’ll see what I mean.

4. That they have no sense of occasion

How lovely to be a child and exist in happy bubble land with no sense of occasion.  I will never forget how my two-year-old blew loud raspberries while I read a eulogy for my father at his funeral. My daughter’s mouth farts echoed around the crematorium like swear words at a nunnery and it was brilliant. Her making everyone laugh was more testimony to my dad’s legacy than any of the words I had written.

5. Artwork

I agree with Kate that kid’s artwork is one of the greatest gifts of parenting. And, it’s a gift that JUST KEEPS GIVING, and giving, and giving. My girl is really into sculpture and made this ‘snow scene’ out of salt and her own freakishly sticky spit.

Sara Bran Sculpture

Salt & Spit by Mia Bran

Her portrait of me below really captures my.. essence?

Sara Bran by Mia Bran aged 6

My mum by Mia Bran aged 6

And finally, she has been dabbling in multi media with this performance based installation piece entitled Do Not OPen This Box There’s a Girl In It:

Sara Bran box

How to give mummy a heart attack

Kid’s are brilliant. I rest my case.

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16 thoughts on “Top 5 Things I Love About Kids

  1. Oh I love your daughter! Hard to pick a favourite from that little ensemble isn’t it? And I LOVE Marks and ‘spensive – will be adopting that one from now on 🙂

  2. Great blog – makes me miss that freshness, humour and happy bubble of little kids all the more! Although big kids can be just as funny; the bottom humour matures into sex humour and strategies on how not to let your parents know you’re on manoeuvres with your boyfriend in the bedroom across the landing! Cringe-making things as a first parent you’d never imagine!!! Best Wishes.

  3. LOL thanks @rossmountney. I have a teenager as well as a biscuit-thief and I have to say, nothing quite prepared me for my eldest’s request for ‘a good sex manual. You know, something that really lets me know what’s going on and what goes where.’ *small vomit*

  4. The photo of the writing on the box almost made me fall off my chair – kids truely are amazing!

  5. This post so made me laugh. My 6yo “Lady Mary” as in Downton, our nickname for her, tells me she has been playing in the Limenium garden at school (Millenium). She is in hysterics if (when) I fart and I love her works of art. I was only musing this morning how at that age they have no sense of time, all she has to do is get dressed and someone else worries about where she has to be and when. Oh and don’t get me started on the sock seam thing, likewise knickers Xxx

  6. I loved the Marks and Spensive thing as well. So cute.
    I completely agree about our kids’ artwork being a gift. It is indeed a pleasure to watch my kids sit down and productively create using their imagination and fearlessness of perfection.
    In fact, that was the very thing that spurred my husband and I over a year ago to develop a creativity sharing website with safe social networking features called miativity.com. We just launched last week!
    On this site, users can share their unique visual and literary creations in a personalized Gallery, gather favorites by other users in a Collection (making one the curator of his/her own virtual museum space), and link with other users, becoming “Friends,” thus allowing private messaging between one another.
    I really hope you will check out the site! Maybe your daughter would like to have a Gallery! It is free and easy to create an account.
    Thanks for your hugely entertaining blog. I am an avid follower. And I absolutely LOVE the picture your daughter drew of you…and the post about telling her to enjoy her youth while she can!

  7. Great post! The things young children say are often hilarious. And I love their little drawings and inventions too. One thing children have by the bucket load is imagination. I think us aDULLts should take a leaf from their book and start having a bit more fun. Life is way too serious!

  8. Kids are brilliant and you are brilliant at capturing it. This made me laugh a lot. Especially the tampon necklace. Thank you. Sophie

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